


K-9

by doctormissy



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Crack, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Q built a K-9, and Bond loves it, i said crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-08-19 04:29:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8190064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctormissy/pseuds/doctormissy
Summary: Q has secretly build a K-9, super computer from 51st century, the Doctor's robotic companion, to help in Q-Branch. He wanted to keep it secret, especially from the Double-Ohs, but he, obviously, failed, when 007 came to his lab for new equipment and saw it. Or rather, almost got shot by it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this lil piece of trash during a free period and following maths and organinc chem classes this Friday to avoid boredom and get over a writer's block. And get this idea done. I've been struggling to write this for long, intending to make a full fic of it, but then I found it pointless and did this. It was my mum's idea. The craziest are always hers. Anyway, our headcanon for the first kiss. Enjoy, and don't judge me.  
> Posted on [Tumblr](http://quartermastersclara.tumblr.com/).

The lift door to the Quartermaster’s lab opened, and 007 stepped inside the cold, seemingly empty space–only to quickly take cover inside the lift right away. A red, hot, and very much menacing laser beam struck the wall few inches from the place he stood at a second ago the very moment he set foot on the floor outside the lift. It burned a large but shallow hole in the bricks. There even was vapour leaking from it.

And then, the laser shooting thing, be it whatever, began to yell, _“ALERT! INTRUDER!”_ in a raspy, mechanical voice, over and over again.

Bond’s ears started to hurt.

“What the hell?” the agent shouted, knowing Q was definitely in there somewhere to answer the (rhetorical) question. His arrival couldn’t have been unnoticed, as he knew the man. “Q, turn the damned thing off, whatever it may be! Now!”

The young boffin appeared from next door and rejoiced, a bit too enthusiastically to Bond’s notion, pleased his apparent invention was functional, “I see it works perfectly then!” Then, his voice steadied and filled with command. “Cease fire, K-9, that is not an intruder, only 007. Although, sometimes I could argue about that.”

 _“Yes, master. …Processing data.”_ The fire has stopped.

007 breathed in relief. He actually thought that thing was going to end his days on this earth–wait a minute, did Q call it K-9?

He peeped out from his cover to make sure the lab was safe and stepped out, heading toward Q. He couldn’t miss the small dog-like robot on the ground beside the man. “K-9, as in the Doctor’s robotic dog? Is that really it?”

How was that even possible? Did Q build his own fully-operational K-9? A super computer from 51st century? Where did he get the funds from?

The only thing Bond knew for sure was that he needed it for his upcoming mission that was the original reason behind his visit in the first place.

“Yes, K-9 as in the Doctor’s robotic dog,” Q sighed. Evidently, he was not pleased with the Double-Oh’s discovery. “It is my secret project, and as far as you’re concerned, you haven’t seen or heard about it, do you understand, Bond?”

The man’s face was solemn, and his eyes made it very clear that he really should keep his mouth shut this time, if he wanted to go on that mission equipped with something more than a pen. A non-exploding one.

“Yes,” he agreed, purring silently yet temptingly, “under one condition.”

Q really couldn’t be more disgruntled than he was now. “What that might be?” asked Q, prudent. “And don’t say ‘lend you K-9 for the Ukraine mission’.”

Well, frankly, that was exactly what Bond was about to propose.

The Double-Oh approached Q, standing a mere metre before him– and the dog. he could take a very close look – it was a precise replica of the original robot from _Doctor Who_ , with the wiggly tail and ears, red grid in eyes’ place, an arm instead of a mouth, buttons on its metal back, and the K-9 logo on the side. It was beautiful.

Not as beautiful as Q’s annoyed face mixed with a proud look he gave the dog, though.

K-9 was what Bond wanted since he was eleven and the dog showed up on the screen for the first time in Professor Marinus’ laboratory. He got a bloodhound for his birthday – the last gift from his parents before the accident – but she wasn’t enough. He couldn’t teach her to say ‘affirmative, master’ and ‘negative, master’. This one, on the other hand…

“Come on, Quartermaster. Just for one mission.” Was Bond all puppy eyes on Q? “I wouldn’t require anything else that way–and I promise I won’t bring it back scattered in pieces. This is all I’ve ever wanted since I was a child,” Bond continued his effortless persuasion. He was adamant on getting Q’s permission, yet wanted to show he did not care _that_ much, despite he did.

There were better techniques of cajolery he was willing to use on Q; Bond was well aware of the man’s feelings for him. And his own. Suppressed. Hidden–yet still existent.

007 stepped even closer and lay his hands on the younger man’s shoulders. “Please, Q,” he whispered. “I won’t want you to make me an exploding pen anymore.”

Yes, that much he was willing to sacrifice for the dog. It was getting truly serious.

“No. No way in hell I’ll give my K-9 to you, Bond, I just started testing its basic functions, as you’ve certainly noted. But,” he said resolutely, calm and steady under Bond’s touch, accentuating the conjunction, “I can let you observe while I run more tests, if you behave.”

Q was surprisingly still and balanced, Bond observed. Although, he did blink excessively, as he always did when he was nervous, which meant every time he was in Bond’s company. So obvious.

“Thank you, Q.” The agent smiled genuinely, sparks of pure passion lighting his blue eyes. What he had said was true at the most. “I bloody love you.”

The confession, or rather the next move, neither of the men expected. It just… happened. Bond spontaneously leant forward and pressed his lips on Q’s lightly in the heat of the moment. It was a short, chaste kiss, and the agent pulled away promptly, yet there was something more in it still; something powerful.

It felt more than good–their lips tingled seconds after the kiss ended as if electricity touched them and flowed through their bodies; there were hundreds of wild butterflies swarming inside of Q’s stomach–that was what _he_ has ever wanted, desired, and could never have. Just like Bond and his K-9.

Bond was strong enough to start to form a sincere apology, even though he did not quite feel the words he uttered. It was the exact opposite. “I’m sorry, Q, I shouldn’t have–”

“Shush, idiot. It was right about time,” Q stopped him before he could say anything more, taking the initiative. His thinking might have not been rational–but he could have what he longed for, if it were for a short while.

He grabbed 007 by his dark-blue tie and pulled him in for another, deeper, kiss.

 _“Processing data,”_ K-9 said again. That little shit. _Clever_ little shit.


End file.
